Bringing Sexy Back: How to Light a Lasting Flame in the Bedroom

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Bringing Sexy Back: How to Light a Lasting Flame in the Bedroom

 

Do you remember how it felt when you and your significant other brought your bond to the bedroom for the first time? Even if the first time was filled with mistakes and miscommunication, you more than likely reached a point as time went on where everything flowed smoothly together like peanut butter and jelly.

As time continued to pass, though, there may have come a point where the sizzle fizzled, right?

However, all is not lost. As is the case with any real-life fire, you can take the steps to rekindle the flames and get the fire burning brighter and bigger than it ever did before. How? Keep reading and find out.

Just Do It

It is much more than just a Nike slogan – it should be the driving force in your relationship when it comes to intimacy in the bedroom. Keep in mind that this does not mean that you should “just do it and get it over with ASAP.” This is more of a motivation to stop talking about it or thinking about it or even complaining about it. Just like you need to grab some sticks, a lighter or a matchbox to start a fire, you need to take that first step towards getting the flame going in your bedroom.

Do not waste time thinking about how much time has passed. That will only bring up past issues and old injuries shared between you and your significant other – which may lead to more yells and screams than moans and groans.

Reintroduce the Oiled Massage

It may seem like a move in the wrong direction, but a proper massage can effectively spark a major flame in the bedroom. When you first start having sex with your partner, you may enjoy the “scenic” route of foreplay and anatomical explorations. A thorough massage is a great way to introduce yourself to your partner’s body. More importantly, a proper massage is an effective way to reintroduce the two of you and reinvigorate the passion in the bedroom. What is a proper massage? Use candles to create the ambiance and massage oils or lotions to massage his or her body the proper way.

Discuss Each Other’s Desires

Everyone is willing to give you advice on your sex life – especially if you invite them to give it to you. Whether they want to share self-help books and helpful online videos or personal recommendations of “adult toys” and lingerie ideas, this seemingly wonderful world of free advice may seem helpful. However, as many couples find out the hard way, it is actually more harmful than helpful.

If you want to find out how to please your significant other in the bedroom, the first person you should go to for advice is your significant other. He or she more than likely has an idea of what they like and dislike with your sexual encounters and can provide you the most accurate insight to improve and add fuel to that fire without having to involve the “peanut gallery” of nosy bystanders.

You May Need a Little Guidance

If there are other issues emerging in other aspects of your relationship, it is understandable why they may manifest themselves in the bedroom. If this is the case, then you should at least consider speaking with an Allen therapist or counselor to guide you through it. Whether you decide to discuss your own personal demons and skeletons or your partner is okay with a couple counseling, you may find that seeking the expert guidance of a licensed therapist may get those flames burning much sooner than you think.

Patience Pays Off with Time

The old saying is that “patience is virtue,” right? It pays off in the bedroom as well. Over time, you may get into a rut where it feels like sex is more of a chore than an enjoyable experience that brings you closer to each other and boost the level of intimacy between the two of you. Remember, the best things in life are worth waiting for – outside and inside of the bedroom. Sex should be at the top of that list of things worth waiting for – especially if the person you are having it with is your special someone.

 

 

About the Author:

Jennifer Slingerland Ryan knows a thing or two about kids and families. First, she knows they are joyous, exhilarating, loving and so darn fun. Second, she knows they suck your life dry and make you weep like a baby.

By day she’s a psychotherapist; by night she’s a mom and wife. She claims to love therapizing couples, educating parents, reading dystopian fiction and sleeping in her free time (read: she never sleeps).

Jennifer has spent over 12 years in private practice working with individuals, couples, and parents who are faced with kid-drama, mamma-drama, and family-drama, and she claims that although some stories make a grown woman cry, she loves it.

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