Relationship Counseling, Marriage Counseling, Couple Counseling, Attachment Therapy Allen Counseling Center

Information and Articles for Communication Issues, Marriage Communication, Couples Issues, Friendship Issues, Attachment Issues

Keeping Your Romance Warm When it’s Cold Outside

Romance The winter blues got you down? Well, it’s not just you. The time of year following the holidays can be depressing for a myriad of reasons, and often leads to emotional low points. In this way, romantic relationships are also inevitably impacted, and these feelings can lead to a chilling effect. If you’re questioning what’s happening in your relationship and feeling like it’s growing cold, you can start by doing a relationship check-up. There are Dallas-area counselors that specialize in this approach to couples therapy, and it’s a good way to take a guided look at the current state of your relationship. Here are a few other small tweaks that can help you both rediscover the spark in the relationship. Romance Don’t Forget the [Read more...]

By Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, Ph.D., LPC|Tags: Gottman, relationship checkup, romance, sex|

Soulmates and “The One”: Why Healthy Relationships Do Not Need Labels and Pedestals

Soulmates It can be tempting to try and find your fateful relationship when you’re looking for your soulmates. However, when you’re ready to face reality, it can be extremely rewarding. With the help of I Choose Change counselors, here are a few tips about how healthy relationships don’t need to be fateful or have fancy labels. 1. Letting Go of the Act and Embracing Reality Soulmates Your instinct on a first date is to make sure you impress. That’s generally the act that many people default to. However, when it comes to finding an authentic relationship, one of the most common impediments is the assumption that you won’t be liked for showing your true personality. In fact, this is cited more commonly than you may [Read more...]

By Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, Ph.D., LPC|

The ONLY Way to Communicate with a Spouse or Loved One Who Does Not Share Your Political Views

Photo by Jared Sluyter on Unsplash Managing conflict is a huge part of being in a relationship. Given the current political climate, that skill has become so much more important now more than ever. The past election has proved so divisive that it’s making friends and family choose sides and unfriend each other on Facebook and in real life. If yours and your spouse’s or loved one’s political views are on opposite sides of the fence, here’s how you can communicate and talk to each other without doing damage to your partnership or marriage. Communication is key Sometimes, just saying what you feel can be enough to open the floor for a meaningful discussion, says the Huffington Post. If you have never tried [Read more...]

By Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, Ph.D., LPC|Tags: Allen counseling|

Made Up Stories: Our Life’s Narrative

Our life script is so automatic, that to change, we need to stop and just be the audience. In our minds, we create our own narrative, which is to say, we create the stories that create our life. This may seem strange, but think about it a moment. Clinical Neurologist Oliver Sacks wrote that his patients were stuck in their own world – where the mind didn’t appear to be working the way most of our minds work, and he says each of creates a story of our life – a “narrative” of which becomes our identity. Another psychoanalyst, Thomas Szasz says, “the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates.” Louis Cozolino says in “The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy” that our nonconscious decision-making [Read more...]

By Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, Ph.D., LPC|

5 Books Every Couple Should Read

Couples fill my counseling room seeking answers to why their spouse just won't behave and do what they desperately need them to do. They come seeking answers, help, and breath for their lifeless marriages. They are heartbroken, disconnected, misunderstood and feel completely and utterly broken. Working with these couples is my favorite work, because I know a little education about human development can make a world of different. I, too, have felt these exact emotions in the eighteen years my partner and I have been together. There are days I've rolled over in the morning and thought, “You’re still here?” In fact, he is still here, and I have to figure out how to move past an angry spat we've just had that makes me [Read more...]

By Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, Ph.D., LPC|

The ABCs of Friendship, and Why They’re REALLY Important

From friends, family, spouse, co-workers, church members, and others, I want to know who around this client knows what's going on with them, and will support them no matter what. Usually, I'm met with a "deer-in-headlights" look. Rarely do clients want to take their "therapy issue" to their support system. Spouses may know an angry side of the problem, but that's not REALLY knowing.

By Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, Ph.D., LPC|Tags: family, Friendships, support|