Keeping Your Romance Warm When it’s Cold Outside


RomanceThe winter blues got you down? Well, it’s not just you. The time of year following the holidays can be depressing for a myriad of reasons, and often leads to emotional low points. In this way, romantic relationships are also inevitably impacted, and these feelings can lead to a chilling effect. If you’re questioning what’s happening in your relationship and feeling like it’s growing cold, you can start by doing a relationship check-up. There are Dallas-area counselors that specialize in this approach to couples therapy, and it’s a good way to take a guided look at the current state of your relationship. Here are a few other small tweaks that can help you both rediscover the spark in the relationship.


Don’t Forget the Little Things

There’s the saying that the devil is in the details which sounds devious, but what it really means is that the details can matter more than the bigger picture. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed once you realize your relationship is lacking something, so start small. Everyday Know suggests sending loving and affectionate text messages to your significant other to remind them how appreciated they are. While this is only a small step forward, it sets the tone for how you want to proceed and rekindle the romance.


Be Honest with Yourself, and Your Partner

RomanceHas the heat in the bedroom faded as well as the feelings have dampened? It’s nothing to scoff at, and you need to be honest with yourself as well as your partner. This is the only way that issues like these in a relationship can be repaired and addressed. It can be awkward to admit that the heat between you has died down, since the sexual side of a romantic relationship represents a physical connection that mirrors the emotional one. It can even be embarrassing to talk about for a lot of people. However, it’s necessary. And once you start the conversation, it gets much easier from there.


Adjust Your Expectations

One of the most common reasons that couples start to drift apart, especially in the darker, colder months of the year, is by getting caught up in the drudgery of every day life. Whether it’s the job, the lack of light during so-called daylight hours, or dealing with family issues, it’s easy to get dragged down. To avoid this, make an deliberate effort to be active, and work it into your relationship. Relationship Rules suggests engaging in a shared activity, such as a new hobby, since it facilitates quality time spent together and carves out much needed time to reconnect.


Keep Active Together, Literally

Regardless of whether you’ve been with your partner for one year or 20, arguments are part of the package. Adjusting your perception of how they’re resolved, though, can make a huge difference in keeping the warmth in your relationship. Psychology Today points out that many couples expect the resolution of a disagreement to be a united interpretation of the conflict, but in reality, what you need to actually do is embrace understanding, rather than agreement.


If you’re feeling a lack of spark in your relationship in this more dismal time of year, consulting with Allen family counseling experts can be a great way to augment personal efforts with therapy. There’s a misconception that therapy is only there for people at their lowest, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Therapists simply provide a framework and assistance with guiding you and your significant other through your feelings, which is what strengthens relationships. With effort and commitment, it’s totally possible to reconnect and rediscover that spark with effort and commitment.

About the Author:

Jennifer Slingerland Ryan knows a thing or two about kids and families. First, she knows they are joyous, exhilarating, loving and so darn fun. Second, she knows they suck your life dry and make you weep like a baby. By day she’s a psychotherapist; by night she’s a mom and wife. She claims to love therapizing couples, educating parents, reading dystopian fiction and sleeping in her free time (read: she never sleeps). Jennifer has spent over 12 years in private practice working with individuals, couples, and parents who are faced with kid-drama, mamma-drama, and family-drama, and she claims that although some stories make a grown woman cry, she loves it.

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