We’ve been in this pandemic for quite a while now. At first, it was crisis mode. Like, trying to find groceries and toilet paper. Figuring out how to do everything remote.
Then there was managing fear and anxiety, constantly watching the news almost to the point of obsession.
And then we started waiting. We waited for the curve to flatten, for the numbers to go down and the experts to save us. We’re now waiting for the vaccine.
Waiting for Life to Happen
At the beginning of this waiting game, I was tempted to figuratively hibernate until it was all over. I wanted to hole up at home, ignore the outside world and just exist.
But the problem is that I have young kids at home. I soon realized that no matter what goes on in the world, our kids are still busy growing. My baby is learning to walk. My preschooler is learning to read and my 2nd grader’s shoe size seems to have almost reached my own. Their lives haven’t paused and neither can ours.
The other day I looked up to see that after our baby had gone to bed, our oldest was playing video games with my husband and our son was baking cookies with me. They each had our full attention and were soaking it up. We hadn’t planned this, it just happened.
I find that happens a lot more often these days. I’ll just decide to bake, play a game with the kids or do a “science experiment.” My husband will take the kids out to the garage or down to the creek for a walk/exploration. I find myself just hanging out in the living room, playing. We don’t make many plans because there aren’t a lot to be made.
I still get anxious and afraid. Each of us still has our bad days, sometimes on the same day. But this has turned into such a sweet time with one another. Not everyone has had the same opportunities which is painfully apparent. It’s now even more important for us to continue to reach out to others who we know are struggling during this waiting time. But if we have the potential to create that space in our home, this can be a time of restoration. We’re forced to examine our relationships, coping skills and priorities.
Getting Grounded by Slowing Down
I’m acknowledging the difficult moments, like taking care of kids while working remotely. I’m admitting the mistakes I made, like did we really need a quarantine puppy? But I’m also loving the moments.
Today my daughter has online school because her class had to quarantine, but her younger siblings are still in school. So today we’re going for a walk, just the two of us. We don’t normally get to spend one-on-one time together, but I know that she craves that attention so much. We’re going to embrace the opportunity in front of us to spend time doing something that wouldn’t have ended up on a pre-Covid schedule. I am so grateful for these moments.
We’re having to wait. We can wait anxiously or patiently. When I’m able to, I refocus and find that space to wait patiently.
But enough for now. I need to go on a walk.
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