The Silent Struggle We Don’t Talk About

“Woe is me.” That’s what I muttered as I stared at my thinning hair, rubbed my aching hips, and stripped off sweat-drenched sheets for the second time that week. My body was screaming for attention—yet I convinced myself it was all normal.

On my recent yearly exam, my doctor asked, “Any symptoms of menopause?”
I smiled and confidently replied:
“Nope, all is well in my world. Nothing to report.”

Ma’am.

Why did I lie? Why did I dismiss everything my body was clearly trying to tell me?

The truth: I didn’t realize my symptoms were connected to menopause. I had fallen into the same pattern so many women do—tolerating pain, normalizing discomfort, and staying silent.

Symptoms Are Sneaky (And Often Ignored)

A late-night Google spiral taught me that menopause symptoms are much more than hot flashes and missed periods. They can include:

  • Hair thinning or loss

  • Joint pain and stiffness

  • Drastic temperature changes

  • Night sweats and sleep disruptions

  • Mood swings and brain fog

Even though my blood work looked “normal,” the collection of random symptoms was anything but. Yet, I brushed them off. And I got angry—at my doctor for not asking better questions, at my mom (who’s no longer here) for not warning me, and at myself for accepting the unacceptable.

Why Do Women Normalize Discomfort?

Here’s the thing: this isn’t just about menopause. It’s about the way women, in general, have been conditioned to tolerate discomfort.

We say:

  • “It’s just part of getting older.”

  • “I’ll adjust my hair so the thinning isn’t obvious.”

  • “I’ll shift my weight to the other hip to ease the pain.”

  • “I’ll wash the sweat-soaked sheets and not mention it.”

We carry on, silently suffering, because that’s what we’ve been taught—to endure, adapt, and keep moving forward.

The Bigger Picture: Emotional and Physical Tolerance

This isn’t just physical—it’s emotional, too. Many of us put up with things we don’t like in our lives: toxic relationships, overwhelming workloads, even our own negative self-talk. We normalize what hurts us until it becomes our baseline. But here’s the wake-up call: we don’t have to tolerate feeling bad.

So here’s my plea—to myself and to every woman reading this:

  • Stop brushing off symptoms that make you miserable.

  • Stop pretending you’re fine when you’re not.

  • Stop normalizing discomfort, physically or emotionally.

Your health, happiness, and quality of life matter. You deserve to feel your best—not just “good enough.” Menopause may have been the thing that woke me up, but the lesson is universal: tolerating the intolerable helps no one. So let’s stop saying, “this is just the way it is.” Let’s stop compensating, covering up, and keeping quiet.

I’m done with that—and I hope you’ll be done with it, too.