Yesterday, a client confronted me and gave me some homework. Well, that was awkward.

She was having home repairs done while we were on our virtual call, and in between me telling her the sound didn’t bother me (it didn’t) and how pretty her new floors looked (I love being invited into my client’s homes!), I mentioned how I was still eating off my garage-sale find dining room table and had college art hanging in my bathroom. (I graduated from college 28 years ago.)

In fact, I told her that when my husband and I toast out of champagne flutes, I admitted how we have the glasses with the writing on them from some winery tour we visited years ago or the freebies we received at God-knows-where. His is tall with white printing from some-such-place, and mine is short with I-don’t-even-know-what written on them.

But do you know where I do have some lovely champagne flutes? In my attic. Along with fine china and expensive cookware wrapped up nicely and tidily in bubble wrap so they are safe, safe, safe. Whew, they are safe!

They’ve been there for 18 years. And unbeknownst to my conscious brain, I haven’t felt worthy of using all that expensive china, crystal, and cookware.

I’m over here wishing my lids fit better on my banged-up Rachel Ray pans. Last year, I took my dining room table apart to fix the slight wobble so it wouldn’t tilt when we set our plates down.

On the one hand, I pride myself on finding the best things at garage sales and making them look magnificent again. My entire office suite is adorned with gently used items I made lovely again.

On the other hand, I’ve got a bit of a hangup about giving back to myself in magnificent ways. Money has been a barrier, and for a good reason. I grew up standing in line at the food bank on Saturdays while my school friends were the volunteers handing out food. We had no plumbing in the kitchen for a time, so water fell directly into a bucket that we had to dump multiple times daily.

I’m used to roughing it. But so much so that I haven’t allowed myself the gifts bestowed upon me because I haven’t felt deserving or worthy. That was eye-opening when my client pointed it out in her therapy session yesterday. Yeesh, lot of good I am. (Oh, there I go again.)

This particular client is someone I’ve known for a long time. She attended a group I held over twelve years ago where I taught the principles of Dr. Susan Jeffers’ “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway.”

It wasn’t lost on me that sitting with this client, with whom I’d taught how to not live in fear, was now parroting back to me what I’d already taught her years ago.

She said, “You need to bring down all the fine china and put it in the cabinet. Don’t even wait until you have a nice dinner planned. Use them now; you deserve them!”

I’ve recommended “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway” so many times over the past 22 years as a therapist. It’s one of those books that you need to pick up now and again and remind yourself of a few super easy-hard things…

  • You may feel afraid but do ____ anyway.
  • You may feel sad but do _____ anyway.
  • You may feel unworthy but do it anyway.
  • You may feel guilty but do it anyway.

Why am I telling you all this? Because motivational media can change your life outlook. Self-help books can be either informational or inspirational, and both types can help you turn a corner.

So, what do you have to do despite fear standing in your way?

Pick these up along with the others I’ve recommended above:

Crafting a New Narrative: A Simple CBT Visual Guide to Personal Transformation – Through its straightforward and concise approach, this book utilizes simple illustrations and clear explanations to demystify the principles of CBT. Readers will discover how their core beliefs shape their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors and learn practical techniques to transform negative patterns into positive ones.

I Am Magic: Manifest Wild, Audacious Dreams With a Vision Journal – Reverse-engineer your life from the end of life to today. Set goals for this year with your most significant life dreams in mind while creating a Life Narrative and Life Summary as you learn how to set goals for this year that impact your end-of-life vision.