Self-care is vital for everyone, but for people with ADHD, they can feel like moving targets. ADHD affects executive functioning—those brain-based skills that help with planning, prioritizing, time management, and follow-through. That means even the simplest self-care tasks (remembering to eat lunch, sticking to a bedtime, pausing to rest) can feel overwhelming or inconsistent.
Living with ADHD often comes with years of criticism, misunderstanding, or self-doubt. This can make self-love feel like a foreign concept. ADHD does not make you unworthy of care. In fact, prioritizing self-care and cultivating self-love are essential to thriving with ADHD.
Why Self-Care Is Harder with ADHD
People with ADHD often struggle with self-care because the very skills needed to maintain routines are the ones ADHD makes difficult. Forgetting appointments, staying up too late, skipping meals, or putting off exercise aren’t signs of laziness—they’re symptoms of executive function challenges.
On top of that, rejection sensitivity and negative self-talk can fuel guilt when self-care falls through: “I should be able to do this. Why can’t I just get it together?” The cycle creates burnout and lowers self-esteem. Recognizing this cycle is the first step to breaking it.
Redefining Self-Care for the ADHD Brain
Self-care doesn’t have to mean elaborate routines or perfect consistency. For people with ADHD, self-care works best when it’s:
- Simple – easy to remember and repeat.
- Engaging – interesting or enjoyable enough to hold attention.
- Visible – tracked with checklists, reminders, or visuals.
- Flexible – adaptable to different moods and energy levels.
Self-Love: Building a New Story
Many people with ADHD grow up internalizing criticism—from parents, teachers, peers, or even themselves. Over time, this can erode self-worth and create the belief that they’re “too much” or “not enough.” Self-love means rewriting that story.
Self-love also means offering compassion to yourself when symptoms show up. Forgetting an appointment doesn’t make you careless. Running late doesn’t make you selfish. These are challenges rooted in brain wiring, not character flaws. Meeting yourself with kindness instead of criticism is one of the most powerful forms of self-love.
Practical Ways to Practice Self-Care and Self-Love with ADHD
- Build Micro-Moments of Care
Self-care doesn’t have to be an hour-long yoga session. It can be a two-minute stretch, a glass of water, or stepping outside for sunlight. Micro-moments add up. - Externalize Support
Use reminders, alarms, or accountability partners to help with follow-through. Offloading tasks frees your brain to focus on what matters most. - Set Compassionate Boundaries
Say no to commitments that drain you. Protect your energy, and don’t apologize for needing rest. - Reframe the Narrative
When negative self-talk pops up, pause and reframe. Instead of “I can’t do anything right,” try, “I’m learning strategies that work better for me.” - Celebrate the Wins
No matter how small—finishing a load of laundry, remembering to eat breakfast, or showing up to therapy on time. Each is worth acknowledgment.
Permission to Care for Yourself
Self-care isn’t selfish. Self-love isn’t indulgent. For people with ADHD, both are foundational to living fully. By building ADHD-friendly systems for self-care and practicing compassion when things don’t go perfectly, you create space to thrive.
At I Choose Change, we help individuals with ADHD strengthen executive functioning, build confidence, and learn to love themselves in the process. Our Executive Functioning Coaching combines practical tools with compassionate support, enabling you to transition from self-criticism to self-compassion.
