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Labeling Emotions: Why It’s a Learning Curve

Labeling emotions, what's that? One of the hardest things I teach as a counselor is how to just feel. It seems it's written in some magic rule book somewhere that feelings aren't okay. Furthermore, the words used to describe feelings are usually very narrow. For example, how many times do you ask someone how they're doing and they repeat, “Fine,” “all right,” “okay,” or “great?"? Often, this is the first question I ask when I greet a client, and this is the response I get. Then, when we get all comfy in my office, I'll say, "How are you really feeling?" And the truth comes out. A lot of people find it difficult to put a name to what they feel, says Psychology Today. It’s a

Being a Single Parent and Falling In Love Again

There are 13.7 million single parents in the US who are raising about 22 million children, based on a report released by the Census Bureau. That amounts to about 26 percent of children under 21 in America today, The Spruce says. Given the complications of trying to start a relationship when a child is involved, it’s not altogether surprising that the average single parent is wary of falling in love again. The hurdle of time One of the reasons why single parents find it hard to find romantic partners is the lack of time. In the UK, about 70 percent of single parents do not get any opportunities to meet anyone new in their lives. About 80 percent, on the other hand, do not have

Getting Your Health on Track After the Holidays

It’s that time of the year for mistletoes, Christmas trees and brightly-wrapped gifts. And then you have the never-ending feasts—the treats and sweets, the meat, the wine—it’s no wonder people love the holidays. It’s so easy to derail your diet, though, with the booze and the slews of desserts. But once the holidays are over—gone are the loaded buffets and heaping plates—then you’re back to minding your weight and going for healthful portions. Or are you? If you’re having a tough time getting your health back on track after living off the holiday leftovers in your fridge for days, here are helpful tips for you: Track Your Habits Identify whatever bad dietary habits you picked up during the holidays. For instance, maybe you picked up

The Velveteen Rabbit

The great poet Maya Angelou once said, “When you know better, you do better.” It is true. When we know how to do better, think better, feel better and see the world in a different light, we will. And then, we must pay it forward. We must understand that the world is filled with misery, but it is also filled with love because of people willing to become introspective, engage in another's worldview, tune in to become empathetic, and feel compassion for others and their story. When you know someone’s story, it is difficult to be angry at them. Becoming whole is a spiritual awakening. It is tuning into your most vulnerable spots, so that you can tune into other’s most vulnerable spots in order

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I Have a Confession

I have a confession to make. This time last year, I embarked on a journey to change my physical health because my emotional health had become unmanageable. In July of last year, I experienced an extremely stressful event that was both traumatic and life-altering. By October, my stress and worry had taken a mental toll on my physical body, and I was on the verge of taking a leave of absence from the work I love as a psychotherapist, and the group practice I’ve build over the last ten years. My heart was breaking, and my body was shutting down. During one of my appointments, I felt like room close in on me, everything turn grey, and I almost passed out. I took myself to

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You Are The Company You Keep

Why do we keep doing and feeling the same things over and over again, even when they aren't serving us well in any capacity whatsoever? Oh, the madness! Consciousness is a “here-and-now” experience of focused attention that is fundamentally a measure of how our body, thoughts, and mind is changed by interaction with our internal or external world. As such, our caretakers as infants played a vital role in helping us make sense of our internal and external worlds. We came to know who we are because of what they mirrored back to us, and therefore, consciousness is said to be context-dependent. This is a process in which we regulate our inner and outer worlds, to gain an understanding, if you will, of how the world operates


While creating vision boards this week with our staff, I pointed out how important it is for me to have quiet, meditative time, usually in the horizontal position on my couch. My bed will suffice, too. It's "mommy" time in which I at times feel guilt, but push away, because I know the mommy-guilt is ever-present and what I really need is recuperative, "me" time. See the couch on my vision board below?   Yeah, that's me - dreaming on a couch. When the other counselors at I Choose Change created their visions boards, one thing they mentioned is that they don't have their own place to "nest". There is no space where they feel like they can hunker down, be introspective, meditate, and let

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