marriage retreat

“WHO LOVES YOU, BABY?”

Imagine for a moment that you’re in a theatrical production in which you’re the writer, director, producer, and set designer. You’re the costume maker, marketing director, event planner – you’re responsible for every tiny, intricate detail of the show, and every decision affects you, your fellow cast members, and whether or not you’ll sell tickets to the greatest show on earth. This is a majestic, enthralling melodrama of your own creation – one in which you are consciously and unconsciously constructing every single, integral part. 

Now, imagine for a moment that you step off the stage and move into the audience, waiting to be captivated by the lights, actions, sounds, movement, and song. From here, you can peer into the theater with a cautious and quizzical eye, judging each line and scene from this angle and that one, letting the actors pierce you with their words, enrapture you with their tone, envelope you into their story.

Why did she say that? Would he respond differently if she’d responded with more feeling, more thought, more pause? He took a step back, slowed, hesitated – what was that? Why did he do that thing, say those words, stumble? How did she perceive it? Is she feeling lonely? Alone? Angry? Afraid? You can feel her hesitation; you can sense her worry. You’re enraptured by their story. 

As the observer, you can see the intense emotions of each of the actors, even when there are no words spoken. You can feel their energy, see their pain, and be pierced by their anger. You’re immersed in the story, invested in the outcome, stewing in the juices of their heartbreak, vacillating between their tears and angst.

It’s easy to see what small lines could be said to change the storyline completely. Just one tweak – one small step in a different direction and one tiny difference in intonation – could change the entire landscape of the drama unfolding on the stage. 

One small adjustment would change the direction of the whole performance…

One tiny modification would shift the outcome of the entire production…

The meaning would be different with just one minscule shift in perspective, in feeling, or in words. 

Friend, you and your partner are the actors in your own play called this relationship. This couples retreat is designed to move your partner from the stage to the audience where you can rewrite your lines, change your direction, and transform the entire production

Step into the audience of your own play and take a birds-eye-view of the inner-workings of your current relationship; you’ll know exactly what to modify when you can see what is creating such pain, heartache, and loneliness – in both of you.

In this 2-day retreat, create a deeper emotional connection and
become empowered to examine the inner-workings of your relationship. 

(By the way, we love you. That’s who.)

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COUPLE’S RETREAT ON FEBRUARY 14 & 15, 2020

Enrollment limited to 15 couples.
Early-bird registration until December 14, 2019.

A 2-Day course to bring you closer to your partner and
create happiness in your relationship.

WIRED FOR CONNECTION

You were born to love and be loved. You came out of the womb wanting to be held, and if we’re being honest, being held doesn’t sound so bad right now…or anytime.

But to feel emotionally connected, you have to understand what the heck is happening in this relationship to make everyone feel so off-kilter. When you know the core reasons you have less touchy-touchy time, more yelly-withdraw time, and unproductive talkie-talkie, you can co-create a new pattern of behaving. You’ll feel more respect, appreciation, and greater affection for one another. 

“Some people can’t believe in themselves until someone else believes in them first.” – Sean Maguire, Good Will Hunting

You can only really know what is happening in your relationship when you can remove yourself momentarily, take a step back, and examine your alliance from a different perspective. 

Individuals thrive when they are connected to others whom they feel a deep sense of belonging. As human beings, we are in constant pursuit of love and affection because without the feeling of emotional connection, we become lonely, unhappy, depressed, and can even suffer physical illness.  

Emotional connection means feeling valued and understood. You and your partner are in a constant pursuit of love and affection, even in the midst of the withdrawing, silence, hostility, and volitility. No anger behavior should be deemed better than another. All anger behavior should be seen as an interpersonal reaction to unmet emotional needs. Couples engage in pursuit, but withdraw when they become afraid of emotional connection. 

Emotional connection in marriage is challenged when you:

  • Get caught up in the “business” of life with your partner – you busy yourself with the logistics of life rather than spending quality time tuning into one another on a regular basis. 

  • Feel consistently unhappy, unloved, disrespected, and unheard when in conversation with your partner. 

  • Have more conflict that normal, but even worse, don’t know how to repair the disagreements once you’re in them. Problems are swept under a rug until the next time you engage in the exact same argument with the exact same resolution (which is nothing, really). 

  • Don’t have as much intimacy as you want and desire, and the quality is poor (to put it bluntly). 

  • Engage in more negative thinking patterns, feel generally unsupported, and encounter more personal and professional obstacles throughout your whole life. 

This 2-day couple’s retreat is meant to do one major thing:
Reconnect you and your partner emotionally.

Take a deep-dive into each other’s inner life so you understand how and why you and your partner behave the way you do with one another. It isn’t because you are so different that you can never see eye-to-eye. It isn’t because of different value systems. It’s because you’ve stopped tuning into each other. In this workshop, you’ll have some deep conversations. (Don’t worry, we’ll be there to guide you through it.)

By all means, do not register for this course if you aren’t ready to go full-body into the hard stuff. 

WHAT DOES EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED MEAN?

This attachment skill-based couple’s curriculum was developed by Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, M.Ed., LPC-S as a result of the desire to fill a need to strengthen couples and families. The training has since been used both one-on-one and in the community to help couples with relationship building, communication skill development, and conflict management. This training is based on a family systems model, which means that when one part of the “system” is not working well (you or your partnership, for example), the entire system stops functioning optimally. When one person is off, everyone is off.

“Lucy, you got a lot of ‘splainin’ to do!” – Ricky, Ricardo, I Love Lucy

Human beings rely heavily upon intimate partnerships as a psychological buffer to outside stressors. The strength of your family depends on your healthy relationshiop. This retreat gives you the tools to help you thrive both in your marriage and in your home.

YOU AND YOUR PARTNER WILL LEARN:

  • What is happening in your relationship, then you’ll be shown a new process of behaving.

  • Why your individual attachment styles impact your entire family’s emotional system. 

  • How interdependence, attunement, and attachment to your partner is not only encouraged, but imperative. 

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10 REASONS TO REGISTER

  • 12 retreat session hours at the beautiful Oak Point Retreat Center in Plano, Texas

  • 2 Pre-retreat assessments 

  • Personalized assessment report

  • Customized retreat workbook

  • (1) Date-night agenda for 1st night

  • (1) Breakfast on the second day of training

  • (2) Lunch both days of training

  • Restorative couples yoga

  • Beautiful nature walk through the grounds of Oak Point Nature Park and Reserve

  • Private online chat room throughout training (plus, continued support after the retreat)

“What you see is what you get.” Geraldine, The Flip Wilson Show

RETREAT SCHEDULE

FRIDAY:

11:30am – Check-In and Lunch
12:00pm – 2:00pm Session One
2:00pm – 3:00pm Afternoon Break/Guided Meditation
3:00pm – 5:00pm Session Two
Dinner Date on Your Own

SATURDAY:

8:30am – 9:00am – Breakfast is Served
9:00am – 12:00am – Session One
12:00am – 12:30pm – Lunch is Served
12:30pm – 1:00pm – Nature Walk
1:00pm – 3:00pm – Session Two
3:00pm – 3:30pm – Restorative Yoga
3:30pm – 5:00pm – Session Three

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WHO SHOULD ATTEND?

This 2-day couple’s training will help you have more emotionally connected communication, increased intimacy and rockstar resolution skills. You will learn how to be a better partner and how to receive your partner’s love. (Because, believe it or not, many times we are getting loved. It’s just that we’re so afraid of being rejected again that we’re gun shy to trust the love coming our way. Plus, your partner may be speaking French, but you only speak Spanish. We’ll teach you how to trust, and your partner how to speak Spanish, figuratively speaking).

You’ll both learn how to step out of the incredibly dramatic production you’ve grown accustomed to, and rewrite your entire script. It’s going to be MAHVELOUS, DAHLING!

All couples are welcome to attend this training. We’ve trained couples who were married 3 to 35 years, from various ethnicities and cultural backgrounds, of different socio-economic statuses, of various gender combinations, in various stages of family and life, and from a large range of education level. Love is love, and we’re teaching about love. So come on.

Couples will experience several things during this short, but powerful 2-day retreat, including:

  • Emotional Reconnection

  • Renewed Trust and Intimacy

  • Deeper Understanding

  • Helping your partner see your inner world

  • Healthier, more productive conversations with attuned listening skills

  • A Greater Feeling of Belonging

  • Acts of Forgiveness

  • Process Intense Emotions Through More Productive Conversations

  • Self-Love Activities like Yoga and Meditation

  • Two Months of Intensive Training in Two Days

This retreat offers you and your partner a supportive, powerful forum to acquire new skills, get unstuck, resolve issues, and heal past wounds. In two days, and beyond in the private online support group, you will reconnect emotionally, strengthen communication, deepen intimacy, and learn how to be the audience of your own life play so you can stop your negative, reactive cycles.

“Book ’em Dano.” – Steve McGarrett, Hawaii, Five-O

INVESTMENT:

The cost of not getting your marriage back on track will equal months of emotional pain and thousands of dollars in legal fees. The investment of this 2-day retreat which includes 12 retreat session hours at the beautiful Oak Point Retreat Center, pre-retreat assessments, a personalized assessment report, a customized retreat workbook for each participant, breakfast one day, lunch two days, self-love activities, and ongoing online support. Space is limited to 15 couples. 

BEFORE DECEMBER 14: $1799

AFTER DECEMBER 14: $1949

CANCELLATION:

The full cost of your registration will be refunded 45 days prior to the event. Half the cost will be refunded 30 days prior to the event. No refunds will be made 15 days or less before the event.

QUESTIONS:

Still have questions? Don’t hesitate to email jennifer(at)ichoosechange.com to get all of your questions answered!

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Jennifer Slingerland Ryan, M.Ed., LPC-S

By day I’m a counselor and business owner; by night I’m a mom and wife. I love therapizing couples, educating parents, reading dystopian fiction and sleeping in my free time (read: I never sleep). I’ve has spent 16 years in private practice working with individuals, couples, and parents who are faced with kid-drama, mamma-drama, and family-drama, and although some stories make a grown woman cry, I love it.

We spend most of our time in relationships – with friends, children, life partners, and coworkers – and you may not realize it, but many issues arise out of those pesky, er, lovely people we call family. You have symptoms of depression, anxiety, ADD, anger and fear you say? Yep, those come from relationships, too. I will show you how. Marriage is my thing (but it wasn’t always – my husband taught me a lot about myself how to even be in a marriage. I’m happy to share that story if you want).

Elise Thompson, M.S., LMFT

I am honored that you have considered inviting me to walk along beside you on whatever journey you may be traveling at this time.  I have fifteen years of professional experience in marital counseling, individual counseling, family therapy, and group therapy. This experience has given me insight into life’s problems and solutions.  My life experience has given me deeper appreciation for the pain and joy that come with relationships. I know that life can sometimes take unexpected turns and present us with difficulties. I believe that together we can work towards creating change in your life and in your relationships.

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