It seems like all of life is change, doesn’t it? And change can sometimes feel terrible, but it is also great because when things are happening that we don’t like that means things will eventually change! Little changes, like your favorite restaurant changing their menu, don’t require much recalibrating. But big changes, like a child going off to college, can require major calibration. My Child is Leaving for College I am preparing to send my eldest child off to college in 12 days. She and I have a close relationship - somehow we missed that “I hate you” phase that people always tried to warn me about. I am grateful for the warmth between us. I gave her more and more agency for herself as
Being a Mom is tough work, we Moms know that. There are times we don't live up to the expectations we have for ourselves, and as a therapist, I find myself needing to let Moms know just how awesome they are. So, I put together a list of ways to know that you are an awesome mom! The most important thing about being an awesome mom is knowing who you are and what you are becoming. You are so much more than Just-a-Mom. Your life is way more than the identifying work, "Mom." You juggle so many things in your life, from being an Kid-Uber driver to rockin' it at the office. Pantsuit by day, messy bun by night, and what you have in between is
Parent coaching may seem like an odd concept, and that being a parent seems straightforward in theory. You teach your children good moral values and encourage positive behavior to excel, but life can be messy and parenting is never easy. Whether you have children who are well-behaved and fulfill every expectation or ones who are troubled and get into sticky situations, the bottom line is that parenting is never simple. One key point to remember is that you’re not alone. If you feel like you’re struggling with parenting, there a few easy things to consider. What is Parent Coaching? We all need guidance and mentoring with our parenting. At our office, you've got a team of experts who are not only parents themselves, but who
Research from Parents says kids are hardwired to be considerate and kind. They want to help. That’s their natural inclination. If that’s the case, though, why do a lot of kids seem spoiled and entitled? It might have something to do with the way parents are raising their kids. If you’re finding yourself facing the same problem, here are steps to help you instill kindness into your children: Be a Good Role Model Don’t try to teach your children all about kindness when your actions and behavior are the furthest thing from being kind or considerate. It’s important to guide your kids right and that means being a good role model. If you can’t do that, and they can’t look up to you because your
This morning when a client told me she needed to learn to keep her emotions under control, I responded with, “Who are you, Elsa?” And then I about died inside, because I thought to myself, “Really? Elsa? Is that the best therapeutic example you could come up with?” In fact, it was. You know what really bugged me about the movie Frozen, which, if you’re like me, you’ve seen upwards of 673 times? It bugs me that in the scene where Elsa is taken to visit the trolls, her dad gets the message that Elsa needs to be locked up until she (by herself?) learns to control her emotions. After Elsa accidentally hits her sister Anna in the head with her frozen powers, the King
Each human being has an internal desire to obtain wellness. This is particularly true for children, who are developing a self-concept and communicating their state of well-being through their behaviors every day. When children "act out" behaviorally, their actions are often the catalyst that brings children and parents into my therapy office. It is important for me to help parents understand all behavior is purposeful. Therefore, even the behaviors we deem as inappropriate are an attempt by a child to fulfill an emotional or developmental need. Parents sometimes wonder why children do not ask for what they need directly. Like some adults, children frequently are not aware of what they need nor do they have the linguistic skills to articulate their thoughts, emotions, and desires.
(Photo credit: Wikipedia) I pride myself on being able to control myself fairly well with my kids, even so much as to say I have never “punished” them and I rarely use the word “discipline” because of its negative connotation of control. That is, until this weekend when I thought I might come absolutely, 100% unglued at the seams with one of my daughters. I was enjoying my afternoon with a book in hand when my daughter ran to me dramatically yelling, “Ayla braided goldfish into my hair and I can’t get it out!!” That’s right; her sister had braided, into her hair, goldfish crackers. Being annoyed as I was, but not willing to manage this situation for them, I simply told her,
This week, tragedy happened in a neighboring town. A young boy was killed by two friends over a girl they were both dating, apparently. The more I think about this, the more heartbroken I become. I am reminded how much heartache there is really in the world. Let's think about this.... these little boys were attached to a GIRL, and one of them was upset that they weren't fully "the one" and so killed off the other boy. Inherently, this is about love, isn't it? This is about a boy who felt so separated, lonely, threatened, and desperate to have love (from the girl) that he would do ANYTHING not to have it taken from him. This breaks my heart because, in all honesty, this