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Marriage, Couples, Relationship Counseling

Information and Articles for Communication Issues, Conflict Resolution, Intimacy Issues, Sex Issues, Parenting Issues, Infidelity

  • physical touch

Physical Touch vs Sex: Love Language Matters

Our culture, more or less, predisposes us to think of ourselves as sexual creatures. From the movies we imbibe to the books we devour, our unending fascination with and interest in all things sexual has been well documented throughout ages of human civilizations. A book was even written on the topic of love languages, which includes physical touch. Knowing your spouse's love language as well as your own, can be incredibly helpful. Sex vs Physical touch: which matters more? In romantic relationships, sex is an essential part of the dynamic. More than the sex, though, touch can be a much more important element in the relationship. Here’s why: It’s a form of communication One of the many things more important than sex in a relationship is

Being a Single Parent and Falling In Love Again

There are 13.7 million single parents in the US who are raising about 22 million children, based on a report released by the Census Bureau. That amounts to about 26 percent of children under 21 in America today, The Spruce says. Given the complications of trying to start a relationship when a child is involved, it’s not altogether surprising that the average single parent is wary of falling in love again. The hurdle of time One of the reasons why single parents find it hard to find romantic partners is the lack of time. In the UK, about 70 percent of single parents do not get any opportunities to meet anyone new in their lives. About 80 percent, on the other hand, do not have

  • marriage counseling

Identifying Your Own Love Language

“Love languages” is a specific term pioneered by Dr. Gary Chapman in his groundbreaking book The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate which provides a structured approach to understanding how love is expressed and received by individuals. The five love languages are revolutionary in how emotions can be interpreted and understood, and for many people, helps to stop the guessing game about feelings. Here’s a primer on how love languages can help improve communication in your relationship. What It’s All About Love languages are separated by Dr. Chapman into five different categories: Words of Affirmation: This is essentially verbal communication of validation. Compliments are of supreme importance for people who thrive off this type of love language. Acts of Service:

Rediscovering Your Spouse: Winter Activities to Reconnect

At I Choose Change, we encourage change that lasts a lifetime. That’s why every month, we’ll take a closer look at the issues that affect you and your family. In January, we’ll focus on resolutions and starting over, then we’ll switch gears and delve into doing the right thing and justice. I Choose Change serves all of Allen, Plano, McKinney, Wylie, Lucas, Sachse and Fairview, and we offer online and email counseling across the globe. Contact us here for more information. Winter Activities As 2018 commences, while many people are full of hope and the “new year, new me” mindset, there’s also the downside of the typical post-holiday letdown. These two elements can mix and lead to toxic ideas about what reinvention truly means, particularly

  • Understanding the Anatomy of a Fight and How to Heal

Understanding the Anatomy of a Fight and How to Heal

Every couple fights. It’s an inevitable fact, ranging from doozies you remember for years, to minor spats over taking out the garbage. The fact is, though, that rarely are disagreements actually about the subject at hand. Anger is hard to express in a healthy way for many people, both to themselves and to their partner. Not only that, but in order to express anger without being destructive, you also need to understand what truly made you angry in the first place. Understanding Your Role in the Argument When you fight with your partner, you’re also effectively a cog in the argument machine. The longer you refuse to take a step back, the longer it will keep going. Acknowledging your role in the argument is important,

  • Why You Should Skip Valentine's Day

Why You Should Skip Valentine’s Day

They’ve been everywhere you look, it seems like, the past month or so: advertisements and displays for candy, cards, and tangible tokens of affection. It’s Valentine’s Day, and the retailers want you to remember, reminding you at every turn. But that’s exactly why skipping the holiday in favor of adopting a healthier outlook on love is exactly what every couple needs this February. After all, you should love one another every day, not just one specific – and very commercialized – day out of the year. There are lots of good reasons why Valentine’s Day is a misleading occasion, but here are the big ones. 1. Wasted Money Means Wasted and Opportunities While Valentine’s Day and its meaning is interpreted in many different ways, one

Keeping Your Romance Warm When it’s Cold Outside

Romance The winter blues got you down? Well, it’s not just you. The time of year following the holidays can be depressing for a myriad of reasons, and often leads to emotional low points. In this way, romantic relationships are also inevitably impacted, and these feelings can lead to a chilling effect. If you’re questioning what’s happening in your relationship and feeling like it’s growing cold, you can start by doing a relationship check-up. There are Dallas-area counselors that specialize in this approach to couples therapy, and it’s a good way to take a guided look at the current state of your relationship. Here are a few other small tweaks that can help you both rediscover the spark in the relationship. Romance Don’t Forget the

Soulmates and “The One”: Why Healthy Relationships Do Not Need Labels and Pedestals

Soulmates It can be tempting to try and find your fateful relationship when you’re looking for your soulmates. However, when you’re ready to face reality, it can be extremely rewarding. With the help of I Choose Change counselors, here are a few tips about how healthy relationships don’t need to be fateful or have fancy labels. 1. Letting Go of the Act and Embracing Reality Soulmates Your instinct on a first date is to make sure you impress. That’s generally the act that many people default to. However, when it comes to finding an authentic relationship, one of the most common impediments is the assumption that you won’t be liked for showing your true personality. In fact, this is cited more commonly than you may

The ONLY Way to Communicate with a Spouse or Loved One Who Does Not Share Your Political Views

Photo by Jared Sluyter on Unsplash Managing conflict is a huge part of being in a relationship. Given the current political climate, that skill has become so much more important now more than ever. The past election has proved so divisive that it’s making friends and family choose sides and unfriend each other on Facebook and in real life. If yours and your spouse’s or loved one’s political views are on opposite sides of the fence, here’s how you can communicate and talk to each other without doing damage to your partnership or marriage. Communication is key Sometimes, just saying what you feel can be enough to open the floor for a meaningful discussion, says the Huffington Post. If you have never tried

  • audience of one

Made Up Stories: Our Life’s Narrative

Our life script is so automatic, that to change, we need to stop and just be the audience. In our minds, we create our own narrative, which is to say, we create the stories that create our life. This may seem strange, but think about it a moment. Clinical Neurologist Oliver Sacks wrote that his patients were stuck in their own world – where the mind didn’t appear to be working the way most of our minds work, and he says each of creates a story of our life – a “narrative” of which becomes our identity. Another psychoanalyst, Thomas Szasz says, “the self is not something one finds; it is something one creates.” Louis Cozolino says in “The Neuroscience of Psychotherapy” that our nonconscious decision-making

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