With almost every client, I use the concept of the three legs of change. I explain that the ultimate goal is to change thoughts, even the subconscious ones that you don’t know you have. And with almost every client, the question that invariably comes up is, “How do I do that?!”

For one of my clients today, I had this answer:

Imagine a green pasture–vast, open, empty. You have a goal: to get across the pasture from Point A to Point B. Say, from one house to another. The only means of travel at your disposal is to drive. 

On Day 1, you start your drive, straight through the pasture. You drive across the tall green grass because there is no road to speak of. It feels awkward but you keep driving. 

On Day 2, still no road, still that awkward feeling, and yet you keep driving straight from Point A to Point B. 

By Day 10, your path seems to be wearing for you. The grass is now flattened. You continue driving straight ahead. 

On Day 30, you notice >> More..

Daydream a moment… slip into your brightest, most cheerful swimsuit, grab hold of your best friend’s hand, and make a mad dash through the water sprinkler in the yard of your cranky neighbor. Now yell, scream, and laugh at the top of your lungs… How does it feel?

Do that in your mind, and you just changed your mindset.

“The search is what anyone would undertake if he were not sunk in the everydayness of his own life…To become aware of the possibility of the search is to be onto something. Not to be onto something is to be in despair…What do you seek?” –Binx Bolling, in Walker Percy’s The Moviegoer

Your mindset is simply your way of thinking, and your way of thinking determines how open you are to change. Clarifying your mindset really says a great deal about the adjustments you’ll be inviting into your life, especially since you are fully responsible for the changes taking place.

If you are stuck in the muck and mire of your own life >> More..

photo credit: intomwetrust2

Want to get back to the confident and self-fulfilled person you used to be? Wondering how you’re going to be a better mom, a better spouse, or a better business leader? If you are stuck in the muck and mire of a situation that is wearing you down, as a result you are feeling anxious, depressed, or hopeless; you might be sabotaging your own efforts to get unstuck.

Yes, what I’m saying is, it’s your fault!

Wait, wait! Before you press the delete button on this email, hear me out. Most of us sabotage >> More..

photo credit: Daquella manera

You don’t have to listen to country music to know that relationships ain’t easy. Having success in them can almost seem like a game of chance. After all, experts will tell you that any one marriage has but a 50-50 chance of success. That’s a scary way of looking at things–and completely wrong. There are ways you can keep your relationships strong no matter what comes at you. One surefire way is to make sure that your relationship “bank account” is always in the black. It’s not too hard to imagine your relationship with your spouse–or anybody else in your life–as a relationship bank account. What are you “investing” in this bank account? Your emotions, your attentions, your affections, your kindness.

Sometimes you could have relationships that are in the red, in arrears even! But if your relationship account is in the black, that means >> More..

photo credit: Nathan Dainty

In an effort to gain inspiration for the article you’re now reading, I asked my husband what he’d like to see me write about. Just a moment of silence and he said, “How do I improve my jumpshot?” That wasn’t exactly the inspiration I was looking for, but I did ask for his opinion, and in an effort to take his answer seriously, I took on the challenge. Just an FYI though, this article ISN’T about how to improve your jumpshot. (Or my husband’s. I found a great article on the web and forwarded it for his perusal.) It is, however, how life is a lot like life change, and ironically, how practice DOESN’T make perfect.

You see, just as my husband asked the question about his jumpshot, what shot through my brain and what came out of my mouth were two different things (a wise choice, I can assure you!). In my brain I thought, >> More..