Week 33′s Change Challenge Question: How can acceptance or contentment in all circumstances change your difficult experiences?
The following is from “How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything” by Cheri Huber.
When we find ourselves in circumstances we don’t like our immediate assumption is that we need to change something, fix things somehow. Changing externals never resolves a problem. We all know the experience of disliking a job, a type of person, a certain atmosphere, etc., and leaving only to find ourselves in the same situation somewhere else.
When we look closely we usually see that the source of the difficulty comes down to wanting things not to be the way they are. We are afraid that if we accept them as they are, that very act will mean they won’t change – they’ll be that way forever and we’ll be unhappy. There are actually several untrue assumptions operating:
1) I don’t like it, therefore something is wrong with it
2) As long as it’s this way, I can’t be happy (safe, content, etc.)
3) Resisting the way it is will cause it to change
4) Accepting it means that it will always be that way and I’ll be doomed to unhappiness.
Our well-being is not dependent on any external. We think it is, but it is not. For instance: “I hate my job because my boss is a jerk.” Now it’s easy to think that that is a true statement and believe:
1) I have to quit my job, or
2) I have to hang on, hating him/ hr and hopeing s/he leaves, or
3) I have to go on and be willing to suffer until I can retire.
Not so. I also have the option of simply accepting the whole situation (boss included) EXACTLY as it is. In actuality, the moment we accept what is, it changes. The circumstances might or might not be the same, but our EXPERIENCE of them will be different.
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How can acceptance or contentment in all circumstances change your difficult experiences?