The Rationale Behind a $5,000 Prostitute

Now, before you read any further I want to make one thing clear. I in no way endorse or believe that anyone should buy time with a prostitute, regardless of price. But the recent events involving former New York Mayor, Eliot Spitzer, and a high-priced prostitute reminds me that my endorsement is not needed for these trysts to occur. In fact, Spitzer’s case is only one of many that involve high-profile individuals and prostitutes. Remember Hugh Grant’s indiscretion during his relationship with Elizabeth Hurley?

I think most people are totally dumbfounded when famous people are caught in unethical (to say the least) actions such as spending crazy amounts of money on prostitutes. After all, why would someone who seemingly has it all: a family, a loving partner, an influential career, and public respect, risk all these blessings for something superficial and sleazy? Is it all about the sex or does a prostitute really make their lives better?

Well, the answer may surprise you. Rationally, the answer is, of course, no. Regardless of the temptation, someone who is mentally healthy does not need to pay someone to have sex with them. Why? Well, since they understand that their worth is inherent and they have the tools to handle their emotions and thoughts, they are generally able to make good decisions. But when someone has low levels of self-worth, they usually look outside themselves to find worth. They may reason that they aren’t good enough on the inside but they can be good enough on the outside! For someone in this situation, a high dollar prostitute may be the current “thing” that makes them feel worthy.  

To go a little deeper, let’s look at current research from Caltech and Stanford.  Through a study that posed the question, “Does a wine taste better just because it’s more expensive?,” researchers were able to prove that people’s beliefs dictate value. So, for instance, a person is more likely to enjoy a $10 dessert versus a $5 dessert simply because they figure that price accurately determines value. So, it’s natural for someone to think that an experience with a $5,000 prostitute will be much better than an experience with a $500 or $1,000 prostitute. In other words, they value the $5,000 prostitute much more simply because they believe that person or experience is more valuable.

So it stands to reason that someone who employs an expensive hooker gets more personal value from doing so. After all, they believe that they got the best of the best.

I know that most of us shake our heads in disbelief when stories such as these break. That’s a normal reaction. But before we collectively balk at someone hiring a prostitute just to pump up feelings of self-worth, let’s look at the larger picture. The reality is that most of us use things or people or jobs to make us feel more valuable, more exclusive. Otherwise why would our society be so obsessed with gigantic houses, expensive cars, bigger pay checks, luxury vacations? The answer: all these things can provide an ego boost. They make us feel better than. And when we allow outside things or situations to define who we are, we are in trouble because our feelings of self-worth are only genuine and lasting if they come from within.  

I don’t want to see another public person caught in destructive behaviour like Spitzer was. But I have a feeling that similar cases are waiting in the background.  I’ll still cringe but I’ll also take a second to evaluate my own destructive habits. I’ll take someone else’s mistake and will use it as a mirror to reveal my own misguided attempts to use external sources as proof of self-worth.