I have decided that the brain is a funny thing. It’s responsible for sending messages to different parts of our body so that we can move and breathe. It’s capable of learning millions of pieces of information and is able to remember events that happened decades ago. In other words, the brain is really a marvellous machine. But even as smart as our brains are, they aren’t capable of some important abilities. The first one is that the brain can’t tell the difference between reality and imagination. That’s why visualization is so effective. But time is another aspect that seems to confuse the brain. Let me explain what I mean.

Have you ever come into contact with something, someplace, a smell, or a person or pet that seemed to have the ability to transport you back in time? This happens a lot: someone gets a whiff of Old Spice and remembers their dad’s tight hug, another person smells warm cookies and think of Christmas’s from long ago; yet for someone else, a song reminds them of their high school years or their first kiss. 

The reason this happens is because our memory doesn’t keep track of time. When we encounter certain “triggers” such as a song or smell, we feel like we are actually in the past. And the feelings associated with that particular memory may feel as real as they did ten, twenty, fifty years ago. This can be a really good thing; after all, there are so many wonderful experiences that we wouldn’t mind reliving – even if it’s only for a minute or so.

Along my commute is a Senior Community. I pass this community twice a day, everyday, so I’m quite used to it. The other day as I passed a house in this community I saw an old man in his front yard, sitting in a wheelchair. Immediately I broke down in tears. And not just a trickle of tears mind you, this was a full-fledged sobbing session. It took me a while to compose myself (utterly necessary since I was driving!) and then I tried to get a handle on why I had had such a strong reaction to someone I didn’t even know.

It didn’t take me long to realize that seeing that old man in his wheelchair triggered a memory of my own grandfather, sitting in a wheelchair in that same community, seven years prior. He had just started living there and I had many negative and depressing thoughts about this event. I remember thinking that my poor grandfather was old and weak, dependent on a wheelchair to get around. I felt sorry that he didn’t have his friends or wife by his side. In fact, I didn’t really feel like he had any type of future left. And then I felt fear and deep sadness because I realized that my stable grandfather, who was almost like a father to me, would soon be gone.

So when I saw that stranger, the man in his wheelchair, it triggered many emotions that were connected to my grandfather.

I know that you have probably gone through a situation like this. Something triggers raw, painful emotions that you thought were gone. As long as we are alive we will continue to have experiences like this. In order to continue on your Naked Truth path, in order to continue living in the wonderful moment, it’s necessary to deal with this emotional havoc. The following process will help you to do that.    

1. Practice living in the moment. The more you practice this, the more aware you will become. When you are aware, it won’t take you long to notice that a memory has been triggered and that you need to deal with it.
2. Once you realize what situation you are “reliving,” reflect on some of the thoughts and beliefs connected to that situation. For example, when I saw my grandfather in his new home, I thought that his life was lonely and miserable; I saw him as weak since his body was weak.
3. Replace your old beliefs. The truth is, my grandfather’s perspective on his situation was probably very different than my own perspective. I chose the thoughts I entertained during that time; I created my reality based on those negative thoughts. In order to make peace with this memory, I needed to start telling myself more positive (and probably truer) statements such as:

• My grandfather is very used to change. Maybe he’s a little excited about this new chapter in his life.
• He may enjoy being able to relax and have other people help him out some more.
• Since many of his friends and his wife have died, there is a part of him that is looking forward to dying. Although this is so scary and foreign to me, it is normal and healthy to accept dying as a part of life.

I know that the new beliefs may not be easy to swallow at first. But remember, your old thoughts created some very negative feelings. And those thoughts weren’t necessarily true; they were a result of your perception at the time. Your new thoughts aren’t supposed to make you jump for joy, so to speak, but they will allow you to make peace with your past and continue on with your current life.

© 2008 I Choose Change